Mary Pat doesn't float around with an umbrella, but she does have 20 years of experience as a Child Development expert. This column will answer questions about child development concerns & managing your employee/employer relationship.

Q. I work for two very busy parents who do not have a lot of time to communicate with me. How can I go about talking with them about important issues?

A. This is a common dilemma for people who work for busy people! First of all, remember that e-mail or communication via a journal (kept at work) can be a great way to communicate about basic issues. Secondly, if possible, set up a regular check-in schedule so that both of you can count on a time (and method) for communicating.

Sometimes there are issues that need to be addressed in a "live" conversation. In this case, ask to make an appointment to talk with your employer. Perhaps you can meet at a coffee shop or make a phone appointment to talk after the children are in bed. Do your best not to spring an important issue on your employer after the end of a long day when they are distracted. If the timing isn’t ideal, you are less likely to have an effective conversation.

However you go about communicating, remember that your employer (just like the other relationships you have) cannot read your mind. If you have something you need to talk about, it’s up to you to ask for what you need.

In short, speak up, be positive, and set up a regular method for communicating.

Q. My employer frequently comes home nearly an hour after I am supposed to leave. I am flexible whenever I can be, but I really did not sign up for this schedule. Help!

A. First of all, review the above answer related to talking about important issues. Once you have established a good time to talk (this is important), set the tone by beginning with something positive about the position, then let them know your specific concerns.

Also, remember not to assume that your experience of the situation is the same as your employer’s experience. Is it possible that 1) Your employer hadn’t noticed that they were late, 2) Your employer does actually have a scheduling problem that can be resolved.

It’s best if you can word things in a way where you say how you feel or what you want, versus telling them what they have done. For example, you can say something like, “I’ve noticed that my ending time is frequently much later than what we’d originally agreed to. The later schedule is hard for me to manage, and I’m wondering what kind of a solution we can come to.” Be sure to let them know you want to be part of the solution. This will help keep them from being defensive and show them you are invested in the success of the relationship.

Once both parties have agreed to a plan, ask if you can set up a check-in conversation a couple of weeks later. This way, the issue can stay on the radar for both of you, and if the original plan isn’t working you can try out a new strategy.

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